april 3. happy monthasarry to mi girlflriends! namely, mary.k-ann.monica.mew.micah.cha. and.joy.ÜÜÜ were on our 2nd yr.6th month.and counting...

yesterday we had a family dinner wit tito hermie's family. i kinda missed my cousin ryan. the silly acts and fights we used to have.. haha! so pogi ng cousin ko! 5'8.basketball player.so demure.so mahiyain when it comes to girls.haay.. the boy next door type! haha!!

graduation ball went well, although mi times na boring kxe lecheng mga sounds yan..then masaya kxe ksma ang tropa then monthsarry pa namin. had fun chatting with mi mates.. vanessa.rhove.allendrey.and karsten. talked about sex ishness.. haha! we were very open minded nmn about it. sobrang ang kulit namin! damn.. im gonna miss 'em. si rhove kxe at si allendrey ang mga ksabay ko pauwi. ka bonding sa foodfest.kalokohan and ol. we were tropas since 1st year. umalis kmeng tatlo bago pa matapos yung grad ball. nagbonding.nag shawarma.inuman. tagal na naming gustong gawin to!! ngaun lng nmn nagawa! hehe.. kung dati tokneneng lng kme, and sago gulaman. ngaun, shawarma,wit san mig! masaya tlga! at yun na ang huling beses na magkakasabay sabay kme pauwi.. pero hindi yun ang huling pagkakataon na mag bobonding kme, we juz hav to keep the communication lines open for the next seesion...haha!  

yung iba qng ka tropa, mga kj! hindi nmn lng pumunta! im talkin about- mari.hya.emma.flo.etom.and rex. haay naku. last bonding na nga yun na completo sana! mga pasaway! hya im gonna miss our kwentuhan about boys.sex.sex.and boys! hahaha!! im gonna miss u girl! mari, aww.. mi super baet na friend! im gonna miss ya too. rex, mi seatmate, im gonna miss the cheating days.. haha!! flo n etom!! damn! etom!!! wla na qng aawayin! haha!

highschool life?... nuthin' compares!! duwana leave mi hs life coz of my tropa sa roxas and barkada ko.and cla tasha, mga tropa ko sa first year.im gonna miss every single treasured moments i had wit u guys! no words can express mi deepest gratitude.. sniff sniff.. walang kalimutan.wlang iwanan.keep in touch alrayyt?!!

Graduation Day!

earlier this mawnin, nag sm muna kme ni rhiza. damn! 7 shops ang pinuntahan namin, para lng mah hanap ng ponds face powder na yan! leche! wla kameng nkita! pinapalit q yung pants kxe mejo maluwag hehe.. then after mag sm, nag robinson. so ganito- school muna para kunin ang toga ko.then sm- watson sa dept.store.then tribal.then watson ulit.thelumipat sa rob-bigr-then sa almar-yung isng tindahan dun-then mercury then grocery sa zab town-then hbc. damn! at hindi pa tapos! nagpunta pa kme ng parlor!! waaaa.. sobrang dami nming napuntahn wla tlga kmeng nakitang ponds face powder! leche! paguwi ko, kumain, naligo, nag-ayos. then m off to school! this is it.. graduation... loyalty awardee so may medal ako. hihi.. Ü pinayagn na q mag mirriam. yipee.. pero pag nakuha aq sa ust, dun nlng kht malayo.. im gonna miss my classmates!! vanessa.mari.emma.flo.rex.etom.jemark.mhela.aa.at xempre si HYA!!!! huhuhuu :( mga consistent cheaters!! bwahahaha!! )

grad ball is on sunday.then monday kila mae. party party lng. then tuesday start ng workshop so training nnmn.then wednesday sna mag club v.then thursday training ulet.

march 29-31.

i made a letter for my parents. as a token of appreciation. Ü inexplain ko na mejo nagtatampo ako kxe feeling ko hindi nila aq sinusuportahan sa pagsasayw ko. although mi mom, she does. kxe xia nagbabayad ng pang erhdance ko. pero kxe iba prn yung financial support sa moral support.. ayon, pero ayos lng. parang hindi aq nag mass, ang gulo kxe nmn ni hya. eniway, after ng mass, tinxt q si jinx. buti nlng tinxt ko xia! clubbing daw tonight kxe si telai hindi mkksama mag club v on wed. so yun, sbi ko sa parent ko mag ppractice for battle on wed. (bad gurl e noh?!) naging mega supportive nmn cla! to the point na hinatid aq sa sakayn, tinatanong kung nandun na daw ba ko. ang kulet! balak pa yata aqng punthan, eh that tym nasa tomas morato na kme, 711 kumakain. sus! grabeh! mejo kinabahan aq kxe kala ko pupunatahan aq kla jinx, sbi q kxe kila jinx then sbi q kila telai, sa congressional, change of plans. punung-puno nq ng kasinungalingan! damn! haay.. finally natapos den nung cnabi qng nagsasayaw na ko.err. after mag 711, nag dreams bar. sa dreams bar, wla lng, sumayaw...nag break ng onti. hindi aq uminom kxe, wla aq sa mood. na meet q ung cousin ni jinx, si tootchie. that nyt mejo bad trip kxe si jm mejo naging moody na ewan. eh pero na ayos din nung nagtxt xia ng mga 3am. bag sorry. ayun.. aftr dreams nagyaya c jinx sa pier 1. lecheng pier 1 yan!! damn! hindi aq pinapasok!!!!!! eh ok lng, pero sila telai n jinx gusto nla pumasok eh hindi nmn nila q maiwanan. kaya kumain nlng kme samwhre. then nag cofee shop. nagpalipas oras. then umuwi na. i stayed agen kila jinx till 12. then went to mari's place. kxe sabay dpt kme pupunta ng school para mag paractice. eh tinamad narn kme pareho. so kumain muna q sa kanila then nakatulog. by 6 i picked up jinx at strbx then nagpunta na kme sa bahay ko para maligo. then hours from that time,  CLUB V na!! wiihoo!! pero hindi. we dropped by at farah's crib then 711 then club v. habang papalapit kme ng papalapit sa club v, kinakbhn kme ni jinx. xia kxe, ung kay king! then aq, xempre ang aking twin... and si jp. waah!! bsta sobrang mukha kmeng tanga tumatawa...kxe kinakbhn kme. hahahahaha!!!!!

saya! so eto na, nasa club v na kme! anna.jay.kuya josh.buboy.king.jp.ella. and the rest.. sobrang saya! kaya lng si jinx mejo nagkproblema e, tinopak yung tiyan nya so mejo hindi xia ok nung gabing yun. i miss twin a bunchee!! haay.. aeon, kila jinx nnmn aq nkitulog, extension na ng bahay ko?! hehe.. i went home by 5. pagdating nila mama, may dala clang jeans for me. nagulat aq may bibigay clang pants from tribal. nyahahaha!! kxe tom. gradution na! wahahahhaa!! this week is very hectic. haha!

general rehearsal ng bacc mass today. then tom. na yung bacc mass then few days from now, 3 days to be exact, graduation na.. ksama ko ang barkada kanina, kaya lng hindi kme completo. wala pa si icah. then nag lunch sa arigato, kumanta, cla. hindi man lng ako nakakanta kxe we have to go na, bka ma late kme sa practice. yung nasakyan naming jeep hindi papasok sa lagro so maglalakad kme if ever, since kami lng nmn yung sakay ni manong, we asked him to drop us sa schol mismo, sa may gate3. coolness!! hindi kme na late! sobrang ang saya ng bonding ng tropa!! birthday pa nmn ni mae, so masaya tlga!!

earlier this day, nasa church kme, nagppractice for bacc mass. hya and i had a gurl talk. somethin i have to know before i do it. it was like, hya schooled me. yeah samthn like that. we were so pasaway, nasa loob kme ng church kung anu-ano pinaguusapan namen.we talked about personal experiences.very personal pero worth sharing wit. i was lyk, so 'innocent' so 'naive'.. haha!! she was lyk, 'weh?! tlga?! di nga?!' hindi nya ineexpect na ganito ako, akala nya super experienced na ko, pero thruth is xia ang mas maraming alam! then sinasabi nya na natatakot xia for me,kxe alam nyang im so gaga gurl at bka hindi ko isipin yung mga gagawin ko. ehehehe...well xempre mag iingat nmn ako. si hya tlga, paranoid! ooh so CRAZY lil bitches.. haha

i can't wait mag wednesday!!!!! club v agen.have fun.dance till u drop.drinks.and.twin.Ü.

i feel weak. isang linggo ba nmng walang breakdance!! m planning to with jinx and telai on wed sa club v pero i dnt think papayagan ako. shet nanghihina tlga aq. dulot ba ito ng fasting?! hehe... si sherwin nagpaparamdam pero ayoko na sa kanya. im so over him and i dnt even want to see him!! pero ka text ko xia kanina.. about this other guy nmn, im pretty scared to take my chance.. err here i go agen!!

pauwi na ko from greenhills, then i drop by at the gift shop to buy somethin, then i heard somebody calling me, ohmigawd!! it was my beshpwend anthony... he's with his bayaw, so i was thinking, baka dito rin nkatira yung family ng wife nya.. i was so surprised to see his face around the neighborhood... whhaaa!! grabeh..we chat a bit, then, i told him to come over at my place. 8 or 9 yata cla dumating dto.. ksma nya si AJ. his cute son... kumain ng popcorn, watched movie at hbo, then, umuwi nrn cla kxe si AJ, inaantok na. ayon, pero balik daw cla tom.\Ü/.bka mag basketball kme or i dunno, holy thursday kxe eh, ano kayang pwedeng gawin.. anyway,

i went to gh today.bought a jogging pants.parang nagbonding kme ng mom ko.hehe.and. kuya jeff, thank you! Ü  

im not myself lately, i've been reminiscing the past... shet hindi aq toh. i've changed. totally different from the jhayem before. sa school, always absent,not prioritizing my studies, consistent cheater, very easy going to the point that i almost dont care at all! the way i speak.walk.mingle with other people. - as in everything about me is different! i can't seem to find the reason why im like this. i cant even think of ways on how to get the old jhayem back! this changes are so confusing. i think its part of the so called.'teenage life'.  however some things remain constant. whut are those? my dreams and aspirations in life. changes. oh so cinfusing. and now as i end my highschool life, more changes are about to come!!! i will get by this changes.. i hope.. before it kills me.. haha!  

i went to school today. my friends were pretty surprised... hehe. hya i mishu!! leche ka! 2 linggo kang hindi pumasok. practice lng nmn ng graduation eh. pero i dnt think its necessary to reapeat the same routine everyday! my galy! they're so perfectionist! well anyway, sa 2 weeks na yun ni isang araw wla aqng pinasukam.. meron pero half days.. at ngayon lang. ngayong araw na to lng aq mka kompleto ng isang buong araw na practice. pasaway eh noh..

sad to say upto now wala prn aqng clearance!! nkausap ko na si tatay, and he gave a deadline. till april 9. i dunno why do i have to be cleared! hindi ba pwedeng grumaduate nlng aq. period. haay..life.

earlier this day, nakausap ko twin ko. i want to meet him sana. kaya lng he's too far. wey too far.  

sobrang depressed ako dahil sa lecheng hallowback na yan... 7 months ko na xiang pinapractice! perfect ko na xia, kaya lng pag gngwa ko na sya as a whole routine, nawawala. major bad trip tlga!! kaya advice saken ni ate gale ma move on nlng daw aq sa windmill. aeon, leche ayoko na ng hallowback, magpapaseryoso na tlgs aq sa breakdance!!! now im practicin windmill na shet isa pang mahirap! sobrang thankful aq nanjan si ate gale para magpush sken and turuan aq.. satisfied naman aq sa practice ko kxe masakit nmn katawan ko and may mga pasa aq so okay nmn.. after erhdance, nag makati kme, sa g4, chilled out sa starbuckx, then watched a movie, Robots! ang kulet nung movie! sa mga sumunod na mga pangyayari, ayoko ng ikwento pa. basta pinuntahan ko si twin sa mcdo sa gb3 kxe aq nga nagpapunta sa kanya dun ang tagal nya naghintay then hindi ko xia mapupuntahan, parang ang panget nmn nun. kaya sbi ko nga kay telai and sa sarili ko na, pupuntahan ko si jm no matter whut. thats it!!

im really scared right now... today is my last chance to be cleared. since nawawala ang clearance ko hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko!!!! i blame it on K. responsibility nya yung clearance namin! ewan ko bkit yung akin pa yung nawala!! leche tlga! next week, is holy week! damn! march 28 ko nlng aayusin lht ng toh!! shet ka K!! kung hindi dhil seo hindi aq magkakaganito!! haay.. naku! tama na nga ang sisihan.. useless din nmn eh!! i dunno now whut to do.. dapat ngayon nasa school aq at inaayos ang clearance ko. ngunit etoh aq nasa tapat ng pc! ano ba JHAYEM!! umayos ka nga! taena! bka hindi ka mka graduate nyan!! honestly, natatakot ako na baka nga ma hold yung diploma ko and yung mga grades ko dhl sa leche clearance na yan!! lord bakit ganito... alam ko, hindi kita dapat tinatanong ng ganito pero, hindi ko na kaya.. lord ano bang ngawa ko bkt ang leche leche ng buhay ko ngayon. una, yung problema ko sa clearance. sunod, yung armband na sobrang mahalaga tlga saken, nawawala. at yung diary ko na sobrang part na ng buhay ko, nawawala rin. lord, are trying to piss me off?! coz yes i am pissed off and congratulations!! masama ba kong bata?! sobra na ba aqng makasalanan?! bakit ganito... pero lord just in case mawaa ka saken, hindi aq mawawalan ng pag-asang makikita ko pa yung armband and diary ko. sa diary na yun nakasulat lht ng pangarap ko. lht ng gusto kong mangyari sa buhay ko, mga sikreto ng buhay ko at doon din nakasulat kung gaano ako ka saya sa buhay ko...pero sa mga nangyayari ngayon? ewan ko nlng.. iniisip ko na nga lng yung mga positive na mga nangyayari saken. like, i have mi family, nanjan ang erhdance nanjan cla daddy jay. mommy telai.jinx.cla kuya ice.and xempre yung barkada ko sa school. lord, im just wondering, ano kaya kung mawala clang lahat sa akin...?? taena. magpapakamatay nlng aq. pero lord kung mawala man clng lahat at nanjan ka prn, titiisin ko ang lungkot at pighati bastat najan ka para saken. ngayon, humuhingi ako ng tulong sayo, kung pwede tulungan mo ko ibalik sa ayos ang buhay ko. xempre tutulungan ko rin ang sarili ko.  

yesterday is wednesday. and wednesday is club V day. so jinx.telai.j9.analiza.and me. went to temple bar first then club V. but before anything else... i have to ask my parent's permission. kaya pinapunta ko si telai and si jinx sa bahay upang ako'y sunduin at ipagpaaalam sa mga parents ko. sobrang layo ng bahay ko from telai's house. umabot ng 230 ang bayad sa cab, pero ang binayad nmn is 300. kaya prang i can't believe nandito cla last night. at kumain pa cla ng napakasarap na sinigang. so there, i compromised with mi folks, and yun.. ok na. pinayagan nmn nila aku, hinatid pa nga kme ni mama hanggang mrt station.

nauna kme sa temple bar afterwards, dumating si j9. then si annaliza with daddy jay. may problem nga lng with daddy kxe hindi nmn nasabi na hindi nmn xia madadaanan so naghintay ng matagal. mejo na bad trip xia ng onti. pero ok naman na. sa temple bar sumayaw lng kme sndli. after nun, nag mcdo na kme. by that time inaantok na ko.. kaya i needed samthng hot to drink.. then dumating si kuya buboy, wit JM! yes, we do have the same name. kaya nga TWIN ang tawag ko sa kanya!! matagal ko ng naririnig yung name nya pero nung wed. ko lng xia na meet. haaay... finally! nakilala ko na rin xia!! im so happy may TWIN na ko!!!!! hahahahaha!!! twin..twin..twin.. just whut i really wanted..\Ü/. i love having a twin! coolness!! ha!ha! ok. moving on, (i got so  caught up with that TWIN thingy..well eniway..) as i've sed, moving on, at club V, i met a cutie but i dunno if he's a hottie. hihi.. brother ni king, (na crush ni jinx), si J.P. wla lng.. i find him cute and magaling mag break! haha!! cla ni joel yung nanalo sa battle. there.. mi twin gave 1 bottle of strong ice. hindi nmn poh ako malakas uminom noh, kaya i got tipsy agad, habang tumura sa dance floor umiikot ang paligid ko. hihi. pero it was cool. kaya lng leche ayaw pumasok ng hallowback ko! but then agen, im so very much happy to meet JM, mi twin. he's cute and sweet, ya knw.. the type of guy na pwede na ninja. pero hindi aq ninja. oh? hindi nga?! i dunno, maybe?! hehe.. well anyway, mi twin? i'll say.. he's cool.totally cool.

after clubbing, we chilled out @ seven eleven.na miss ko tuloy si anthony at si kuya boyet. sa tapat lng kxe nmn yung call center na pinapasukan nila. anyway, nag picture picture kme dun with the bboys from.. i dunno where they came from. basta ang kulit namen. hmm. ang cute tlga ni JP! ha!ha! oo nga pla, shout out to telai!! its her birthdat that time!! sobrang ang saya! hehe.. so yun.. after nun, uwian na. as usual, kila jinx muna ako. nag cab kme, at habang nasa cab, nag girl talk. and all. pagdating kla jinx, nag girltalk paren kme. bkt ganun si jinx?! alam nya pag trip ko ang isang guy!! ha!ha! i guess, showy lng tlga aq sa feelings ko. coz, its about mi twin. well honestly,... eerr. nvm! tata! Ü

dapat papasok na sa school today. kaya lng pag kagising ko. my stomach is aching like hell!! nalamigan daw sbi ng mom ko. i had a body massage nung gabi, then mga 6 am naligo aq w/c is hindi pla dapat! kaya yun.. i've learned mi lesson now.. i really do want to go to school tom. 6 days na qng walng balita sa mga pangyayari dun. and besides, i miss my friends... na miss kaya nila ko?!! hihi..

the sun's up and we're still together havin a great time exchanging kwentos with each other.. daddy, me, maritelai, kuya ice, and kuya josh.i got home by 8 am.

i had a good practice yesterday at erhdance!! my hallowback is finally kicking in!! suhrap!! kaya lng.. im really sad about this one, yung armband na bigay saken ni anthony, shet!!, nawawala!! :(( i dunno... ang alam ko wala aqng naiwang gamit last saturday sa erhdance.. bad trip.. first time qng mag practice ng hindi gamit yun!! feeling ko may kulang saken pag wala yun.. sana lng tlga.. mahanap ko pa yun..

after erhdance, mcdo, then, club V, then, seven11, and lasty, mcdo. nag yaya pa nga aqng mag baywalk after eh.. kaya lng pagod na kmeng lahat!! anthony and boyet were there wit us pero umuwi na cla ng mga 2am. i get to ride anthony's wheels. hehe. :))

i can really feel the heat of tha summah!! whooh!! friday afternoon, jinx and i went to Greenhills.  i bought a pink cap for me and jinx. coz i owe her a cap! she borrowed a hundred buckx from me para pang gas sa wheels ng kuya nya. 400 lng nmn na gastos ko..not bad. si jinx.. hmm.. 500 yata.. well anyway, no hassle at all. kxe hndi aq pinagalitan nung pag-uwi ko.. and nag-enjoy nmn aq.. Ü

today, is the fifth day im off at school! so, one week na aqng hindi pumapasok! tsk tsk..   

4 days..and counting. since monday, nandito lng ako sa bahay!! and i hate it... ayoko din nmn sa school, i want to go somewhere else!! kaya lng my whole body still aches kaya i somehow prefer to stay home nlng and rest and get ready for saturday! tom. i have no plan of going to school again! i want to go with jinx at gh. i wanna go and chill out. im really bored! imagine, monday, tuesday, wed, and today, my daily routine is kain.tulog.moviemarathon.kain.tulog.tulog.kain!!! omigod!! and oh,

mari, happy birthday!!!

not grounded enimore!! ha!ha! so after erhdance we went to kuya paul's (big nozey!) crib, coz its his birthday!!! mari (kuya ice's girl) went with us. i finally got to hang-out with her. she's nice nakita ko rin yung brother ni kuya paul, si kevin. we watched dance idol again. si kuya jonald nagalit xkn.. duwanna tell the whole story. anyway, daddy is havin more fun than us, i guess.. coz he spotted this beautiful girl, but he doesn't even know her name..ha!ha! nag text pa sya kay jinx and kay fatima, kung ok daw ba yung girl, ha!ha! ang kulet ni daddy. then ate michelle asked  jinx if fatima and i want to join NIKE dance-off by magic. of course we'd love to!! so, after ng birthday ni kuya paul, we went to blue onion. we registered for the dance face-off.. i was so nervous coz im not comfortable with my shoes..anyway. gail, fatima, and me, all of us were in the semi-finals however, ate ivy, didn't made it, kulang lng kxe sya sa giling. ate ok lng yan. may next tym pa! im pretty surprised to be in the semi finals kxe nilaro ko lng nmn yung sayaw ko. sa finals. si ate gail yung 1st runner up. 10 g and fatima, 2nd. 5 g. it was a cool experience!! BGIRLS RULE! WE REPRUEZENT!! im not even 18 yet pero nakasali ako.. hehe! i met dj kimo' and dash. i got a turntable, cd and a shoebag. pretty phat huh. hehe.Ü. after blue onion, we chilled at timog for a while. then uwi na.. savay ulit kme ng besh ni jinx na si kuya josh. nag cab kme papuntang house ni jinx, at ang laking epal nung taxi driver!!! umabot ba nmn ng 140 plus yung metro!! eh from timog to philcoa, 60-70 pesos lng!! Juraot si manong!!! leche xia! sinisi pa si kuya josh na pinindot ang memory! at dahil dun, 40 PESOS lng binayad nmn!!!! buti nga sa kanya!! mabanga sana yun!!

sayang wala si maristela!! ha!ha! ang cute ng babaeng yun! sobrang kulit ksma!!!next saturday ima practice more to upgrade my skillz. ayokong mapag iwanan. yung ibang bgirls sobrang galing na nila. there's no stopping now!!!

exam tom. is analytical geometry, eko and values. hmm.. maiba ako.. i was thinking, since this is the last week of classes, maybe on saturday, i won't be grounded anymore.. haha!!!haha!! i hope so... ima tell this to mi dad.. hehe.. asaness.. wala nmn ng klase... puro practice and chenilyn nlng.. hihihi.. pero pa2-good shot muna ko.

alam mu tuts, ok lng nmn kung ayaw mong sumama wit us on friday to catch a movie, pero pag hndi ka sumama, hindi nlng aq sasama.. eh para san pa?! wla ka nmn dun.. haayy.. bahala ka.. pero whutever ur side is, ima try to understand.. :)

yesterday, pinagawa kme ni tatay ng letter for him. kht anu daw na gusto naming sbhn sa kanya. kanina ko lng napasa kxe wla aqng tym kahapon. aoen... lalu ko xia na appreciate sa buhay ko. kxe special tlga xia saken at samin ng mga classmates ko.

FINALS na!! o mi gawd! bka hindi aq mkkpag exam tom. dami q pang kulang na requirements sa ibat ibang subjects! eto nnmn aq... cramming to the max! and another thing, may utang pa pla xa accounting office.. shet! wla naqng pera!! huhuhu.... bahala na!

Ma mi-miss ko ang ROXAS... lalu na si tatay... huhuhu.. sana lng hindi nya ko ibagsak sa physics!! nyehehe...

TATAY,

                Thank you sa lht ng turo mu samin. i feel so blessed to have you as my adviser in my last year at SSA. Hindi ka nmin makakalimutan! promise.. i will always remember T.Edwin as my physics teacher who calls me "scholar" / "valedictorian" in his physics class; the class clown of  fourth year Roxas; ang pinakapasaway sa admin and the bestest teacher in my highschool years!! hailabshyu 'tay! ima always pray for you and your family! Ü